I never really liked the character of Thor in the MCU. I know it’s not a popular opinion. He’s overbearing, starts out misogynistic (he gets better), and really, astonishingly perfect. (Except the hair. The day I saw him with the haircut for Ragnorok? That was a good day!) He always did what he was supposed to. He won every battle. He used whoever he needed to get what he wanted, and often didn’t take into account other’s feelings. Annoying, really.
At the end of Infinity War, Thor comes sailing out of the sky and gets Thanos in the heart with his ax. Thor has swooped in and saved the day, again (so irritating).
Except he didn’t.
He really didn’t.
As Thanos said, he “...should have gone for the head.”
Thanos snaps and the world as Thor knows it is absolutely crushed.
Even at the beginning of Endgame when they find Thanos, Thor beheads him, but it’s too little, too late.
The rest of Endgame, for Thor, is why I now like his character.
Because Thor is me.
Like Thor, I have a problem in my life that is so much bigger than me I cannot begin to fathom how to solve it.
Like Thor, I’ve gone into depression. I’ve spent years in denial, denial of the situation, denial of myself, thinking that was the only way to fix things. Thor self-medicated with alcohol and video games. I self-medicated with food and books. Thor gained weight. So have I.
Like Thor, I have isolated myself in what looked like a safe place, but was really just me running away.
Like Thor, I lost myself.
Thor’s reactions to his life were just like mine. They were real. In fact, he was the Avenger that I most identified with in Endgame. There, up on the screen in the highest grossing movie of 2019, and one of the highest grossing of all time, was mental health portrayed in a very real way.
Intervention happened for him. His friends pulled him out of his escape, and he came back into the story, but he was still trying to make it all work his way. He still tried to fix things. He still tried to do everything he thought he was supposed to do. And his friends held him back.
He had to go back into his past, literally, and talk to his mom to find himself. This is a psychological tool, talking to the people that are gone. It was only when he tested himself and found out he could still wield his hammer, in spite of his astronomical mistake and the fact that he couldn’t fix it. He found himself.
My change moment wasn’t from the intervention of friends. It was one night when I was in a place of such darkness that I could see no way out, and I started seriously contemplating the various bottles of sleeping pills that are in my house as a way out. I’m still not sure what pulled me away. But I got up and joined the rest of my family in the movie they were watching because the end result of me being alone was going to be suicide.
I’ve been in therapy for years. I take a medication that isn’t technically an antidepressant, but helps. In spite of all that, I was still in the blackest hole I’ve ever been in. And because of that moment, I have taken Thor’s journey.
Like Thor, I have traveled into my past to find myself.
Like Thor, I have tested myself and found that I am still worthy, even with this issue. I can still contribute.
And like Thor, I have come out ahead. I have found myself, will continue to find myself, and will travel the universe.
I don’t think Thor’s journey is over. He’s still overweight. He is still bossy. He’s still a little annoying, but now, ironically, he’s human. He is me. And I love him because I now love myself.
Yes, I know they play him for comic relief. Is that demeaning? Maybe. I don’t know. What I do like is that the writers/directors still took him on a mental health journey, in spite of the comedy. His journey doesn’t have to look exactly like mine. It’s enough that I got to watch him take it.
(If you really want a mental health connection--take the stages of grief and apply them to the main Avengers. Thor=Denial, Black Widow=Depression, Hawkeye=Anger,Captain America=Bargaining [this one feels a stretch], Iron Man and Hulk=Acceptance. Food for thought!)
As for the rest of representation:
Women? Yes. Gratuitous girl power scene (the directors words, not mine!)
LGBTQ? Not obviously to someone who doesn't really live in that world. (I've heard that Valkyrie "gives off Bi vibes" but I don't know what that means.)
People of color? Yes.
Disabilities? Yes? You might remember that War Machine doesn't have use of his legs from Civil War. In Infinity War we find out that Tony a.k.a. Iron Man has made him some amazing tech that allows him to walk. In Infinity War, we don't see his spinal injury affecting him at all. However, in Endgame, there is a scene where his injury does affect him and therefore I'm giving it a Yes.
So far, this is the best of the top 10 movies that I've scene for representation.
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